The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us

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It’s not cheating:
Miriam: You don’t have to use that part of the game.
Courtney: Yes, you do!
Miriam: No, I mean you don’t have to use it if you’re not going to follow the rules.

Ready for a hair commercial:
Liam: I was out of my shampoo, so I actually used three different kinds that were in the shower. But I really like the way my hair feels. It’s really soft!
Courtney: I bet you used conditioner. Did you?
Liam: No, I checked to make sure they all said “hair” on the bottle.

Liam talking about grades:
Liam: F stands for fail, right? Or maybe it stands for phenomenal!?
Courtney: If you think phenomenal starts with F, then you probably deserve that grade.

Demonstrating how much the little boys struggled with phonics:
Courtney: Josiah, what does “dumb” start with?
Josiah: (d)!!!
Me: Okay, Aiden, what does “Mom” start with?
Aiden: (b)!!!

Same difference:
M___: Do you have any hippie songs? You know, like with banjos?
Bill (confused for a couple of beats ): Do you mean hipster music?
M___: Yeah!!

Bill: Miriam, why didn’t you change clothes like I told everyone to do?
Miriam: Oh, I didn’t hear you say that.
Bill: I guess I should expect at this point to have more and more times of kids claiming they didn’t hear me.
Miriam: What did you say?

The first time our newest daughter walked through our house:
C___: Wait! I thought you said there was a church in your house!!

Referring to Cain’s adversaries being punished seven times worse than he was:
Victoria: Why did God punish Abel [Cain] by making people pay $7 if they killed him?

After Esther got dish soap in her eye.
Bill: Well, go to Mr. Dan and have him spit in your eye. That should help.
Esther: I would rather go to Jesus than have that happen.

Talking about how old people were in the beginning of Genesis:
Victoria: Yeah, like our grandparents! They’re super old!!!

Discussing the differences between Apple and Android:
M___: I like Apple better
Courtney: So does Dad.
Josiah: I like bananas better!

She’s so popular…:
Victoria: Those people at the next table were talking about me. I know because they said, “Victoria’s secret.”

Dead-Beat Dad:
Bill: Didn’t I ban you from eating outside the other day?
Victoria (thinking): No, you abandoned me before that.

Trying to get Josiah to guess her password (which was “Batman”):
Victoria: What does Daddy really love?
Josiah: Mooooooooommmy!!!

In the herbivore family:
C___: Hey, look! A convertabore! [Convertible]


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Talking about her younger sibling:

Miriam: I like Josiah a lot, and I like Victoria a little.

Right after Miriam farted:

Liam: That was Miriam and that was cool!

While decorating for Christmas:

Miriam: Do we have any hooks to hang our stockings with?

Bill: No.

Miriam: Well what do we do? Do we call the police? Or are they only for catching bad guys?

During breakfast:

Liam: Too much syrup is bad for you. You should have powdered sugar instead.


Miriam: Liam is eight which means he’s almost twelve.



After watching Liam play soccer for three weeks:

Esther: Why are they always kicking the ball?

With a full mouth during dinner:

Miriam: I can’t answer you. My mouth is full.

Dinnertime games:

Miriam: I have wings, a circle head, a small body, and small legs. What am I?

Me: (after several wrong guesses) What color are you?

Miriam: Whatever color birds are.

Me: Are you a bird?

Miriam: Yes!

On a breakfast date with Daddy after eating half her food:

Miriam: You’re not going to cook anymore for the rest of the day, right?

Bill: We’ll still have lunch, supper, and maybe a snack.

Miriam: (looking worried) I can’t eat anymore today! My belly’s already way too filled up with food!

Bill picking on me regarding a time I locked the kids in the van (which Liam doesn’t remember):

Bill: What would you think if someone locked their keys in the car?

Liam: That would be kind of dumb.

Bill: What if they locked their kids in their car?

Liam: I’m not allowed to say that word, but it’s spelled s-t-o-o-p-i-d.



*We couldn’t decide which blog these should be on. They reflect fun parenting moments and are sweet memories for our family, so we’ll be double posting these each time.

Ariana and Liam were being competitive one day trying to get their school work done first:

Me: You two don’t need to race.

Ariana: Yes, we do.

Me: Why do you think you have to race?

Ariana: Cause when we mess up, we have to race.

Bill: Do you mean erase?

Ariana: Oh. Yeah.

Big announcement:

Miriam: My favorite colors are black and green, cuz that’s the color of my poop.

That makes sense:

Bill: Should you disobey Mommy?

Ariana: Uh huh.

Bill: What?

Ariana: Uh huh means no.

A child’s observational skills:

After Esther held Josiah in the bathtub so Bill could give him a bath, she observed: “Daddy! Josiah has a tail like you and Liam do!”

We obviously still have much to learn with time concept:

Liam: How long will it take you to drive to Florida?

John: About 18 hours.

Liam: Whoa! That will probably take you 4 days! Maybe even 12 days!

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Yes, yes, I know it’s been forever since we posted. We’ll get back into it eventually, right?!

Liam trying out a new phrase:

That cracks my head off!  (combination of “That cracks me up” and “I laughed my head off.”)

Sorry for the mental image in this one.  Said when Esther sneezed without covering her mouth:

Ariana:  Your ‘bless you’ hit me!

Trying to get dressed one morning:

Ariana: My shirt is outside in.

Guilty conscience at work:

Ariana: (crying and running to Bill and me)

Liam: (close at her heals and wide-eyed) I didn’t do anything!!!

Ariana: (looking at Liam, confused) I know.  I hit my leg on the bunk bed.

Referring to our friend who is folickly-challenged (by the way, our friend is not a horse–simply has an unfortunate name):

Liam: Some babies are born with hair, but most come out looking like Mr. Ed.

Bill attempting to get Essie to tell him about watching Blue’s Clues:

Bill: Did you watch Yellow’s Hints?

Esther: (huge grin) No!

Bill: Did you watch Purple’s Mysteries?

Esther: (huge grin) No!

Bill: Well what did you watch?

Esther: (smile quickly disappears replaced by look of absolute confusion–imagine drool here)

Bill: (laughing heartily) Did you watch Blue’s Shoes?

Esther: (huge grin) No!

Bill: Did you watch Blue’s News?

Esther: (huge grin) No! We watched a movie about Blue!



On food:

Liam: Crackers are scrumptious because they’re so cracky.

In discussing the possibility of Victoria being born on Liam’s birthday:

Me: Do you want Victoria to share a birthday with you?

Liam: No.  I’ve been thinking about this.  If two people in the same house have the same birthday at the same time, then one will have to go to a different house with their mom or dad so they can have a birthday.

Ariana is the queen of giving “Sunday School answers (God! Jesus!)” to almost all of Bill’s questions over dinner.

Bill: How was sin different in Noah’s day than today? (real answer is there was no difference)

Ariana: I don’t know.  Jesus!

To show the pattern of this, over dinner one night the real answer was “God.”  We realized then how closely Miriam listens to her big sister.

Bill: Who created all things?

Ariana: God!

Miriam (immediately following): Jesus!

I always love my kids understanding of relationships.

Ariana: When Liam gets big, he’ll have to marry a different mommy who doesn’t have a husband.

Telling Daddy about his zoo trip:

Liam: We saw the polar bears, and there was a man who was feeding them fish.  We’ll call him The Man Who Feeds Fish to Polar Bears.

While at the park:

Ariana: Look at the gooses!

(Bill and I chuckle at the cuteness of her statement)

Ariana (trying to justify her term): That’s what I call a group of gooses.



A dinner conversation:

Bill: Manna means “what is it?”

Liam:  I don’t know.

Bill:  No, the actual meaning of manna is “what is it?”

Liam:  I don’t know.

Bill: I’m not asking a question, Buddy.  When I say, “What does manna mean?” you say “what is it?”

Liam:  I don’t know.

Liam was helping me bake s’mores the other night.  After turning my back for a moment, I saw he had marshmallow cream all over his face.  Obviously he couldn’t resist the temptation to put his head in the dish for a sampling.  Here, though, was his version of what happened:

I accidentally dropped my head, and my chin just fell in the marshmallows!

Liam ran in the house one day and quickly got water in a bowl.

Me:  What are you doing?

Liam:  There’s a wasp’s nest, and Daddy asked me to bring him a fly’s water!  (fly swatter)

After Esther was heard crying:

Liam:  I helped Esther get back up.

Daddy:  That was kind of you.

Liam:  (pause)  I’m also the one who pushed her down.

Times I’m reminded there is a son in the midst of all the daughters:

Liam:  It would be so glamorous to catch a fish and throw it on your head.