The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us

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My Wife Cracks Me Up, Part 6

Private correction
Telling me about how one of the kids needed some correction while she was driving in the van: “You know how I do it. I tell them I’m gonna talk to them later, and then I just go ahead and say it anyway.”

Tough call
I asked Court jokingly, “Which kid is your favorite?” After a thoughtful pause, she replied, “It’s hard to choose between the two.”

Lower than what, exactly?
After reading a reference in her school notes, Courtney asked me, “And why are we called the lower 48 states? I know my geography is terrible, but isn’t Hawaii close to the bottom”

I’m not sure going all-organic is the answer
Giving a theological treatise on the effects of sin in our bodies: “All disease is stupid. It all comes back to a piece of fruit.”

Smile, because it confuses people…
In reference to the fact that Ariana and I are perpetual smilers: “You’re both like the Joker.”

Don’t we all?
After telling the kids about my days loading packages for UPS and the frequent drug dog visits, Courtney pipes in: “I want a drug dog.”

Channeling her inner Yogi Berra
In response to a minor scrape: “A little pain never hurt anyone.”

A gentle word of correction
When one of our girls was acting cranky: “Your panties are in a wad and I’m not gonna reach in there to pull them out for you.”

Smart fun
At family camp, Victoria was doing something incredibly stupid at the playground that was most likely going to get her hurt: “You can have fun without being a moron.”


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My Wife Cracks Me Up, Part 5

A lesser known fact about the kingdom feast
After I suggested getting some Chick-fil-A and then immediately being deflated realizing it was Sunday, Court comforted me with this: “That’s okay. You can wait till we’re face to face with Jesus and all we eat is Chick-fil-A.”

A lesser known fact about Eden
Court was trying to explain to the kids that even though we teach the kids to keep their bodily functions quiet in public, that doesn’t make them sinful: “I bet Adam and Eve burped and farted in the garden.”

A lesser known fact about Jonah and his fear of lions
Courtney was trying to train the kids on obedience by giving some negative biblical examples: “And don’t forget about Jonah. He didn’t want to go to Narnia when God told him to go there. And what happened to him?”

A lesser known fact about Court’s lack of obstetrical privacy
After getting what she thought was a random Facebook friend request, Courtney realized it was a nursing student who had observed one of her pregnancies. After thinking about some other seemingly odd friend requests she’d recently gotten: “I don’t know—maybe it’s just a bunch of other people who have also seen my hoo-ha.”


My Wife Cracks Me Up, Part 3

Court had just drawn a crocodile that she thought didn’t look much like a crocodile. As the kids were disagreeing with her and trying to convince her that it looked good, she replied, “I obviously need to show you all real art. Your standards are too low.”


Using a magic eraser for the first time, Court exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! What is in this? It really is magic!”


Courtney was singing along with a song from the 60’s when she stated with pride, “So, I just want you to know that before getting together, I didn’t really know any Beatles songs. But now, not only can I identify Beatles songs, I know some of the words, too. Like this song.”  My response, “That was 25 or 6 to 4. By Chicago.”


“I know physics: I play Angry Birds.”


Letting My Inner Geek Out

This had nothing to do with anything.  I just came across both of these within a few weeks of each other and they each made me giggle.  Cuz I’m a geek.

There.  I said it.

I hope you get it.  Court didn’t.  I had to show her the clip at the bottom of this post.  She didn’t think it was funny.

She’s not a geek.

But at least she stills loves me…

Merry Christmas, y’all!

And in case you’re one of those non-geeks who didn’t get either one of those jokes:


Silly Pictures

Just for fun:


So it would be hard to narrow down to the most ridiculous thing about this picture, but I might say the pink chair.




Yeah, so we have never, ever had our kids prostrate themselves to pray, but at the end of prayer one night, we opened our eyes to find our kids like this.  We don’t really know who started it…