The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us


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Kidisms

It’s not cheating:
Miriam: You don’t have to use that part of the game.
Courtney: Yes, you do!
Miriam: No, I mean you don’t have to use it if you’re not going to follow the rules.

Ready for a hair commercial:
Liam: I was out of my shampoo, so I actually used three different kinds that were in the shower. But I really like the way my hair feels. It’s really soft!
Courtney: I bet you used conditioner. Did you?
Liam: No, I checked to make sure they all said “hair” on the bottle.

Liam talking about grades:
Liam: F stands for fail, right? Or maybe it stands for phenomenal!?
Courtney: If you think phenomenal starts with F, then you probably deserve that grade.

Demonstrating how much the little boys struggled with phonics:
Courtney: Josiah, what does “dumb” start with?
Josiah: (d)!!!
Me: Okay, Aiden, what does “Mom” start with?
Aiden: (b)!!!

Same difference:
M___: Do you have any hippie songs? You know, like with banjos?
Bill (confused for a couple of beats ): Do you mean hipster music?
M___: Yeah!!

Huh?
Bill: Miriam, why didn’t you change clothes like I told everyone to do?
Miriam: Oh, I didn’t hear you say that.
Bill: I guess I should expect at this point to have more and more times of kids claiming they didn’t hear me.
Miriam: What did you say?

The first time our newest daughter walked through our house:
C___: Wait! I thought you said there was a church in your house!!

Referring to Cain’s adversaries being punished seven times worse than he was:
Victoria: Why did God punish Abel [Cain] by making people pay $7 if they killed him?

After Esther got dish soap in her eye.
Bill: Well, go to Mr. Dan and have him spit in your eye. That should help.
Esther: I would rather go to Jesus than have that happen.

Talking about how old people were in the beginning of Genesis:
Victoria: Yeah, like our grandparents! They’re super old!!!

Discussing the differences between Apple and Android:
M___: I like Apple better
Courtney: So does Dad.
Josiah: I like bananas better!

She’s so popular…:
Victoria: Those people at the next table were talking about me. I know because they said, “Victoria’s secret.”

Dead-Beat Dad:
Bill: Didn’t I ban you from eating outside the other day?
Victoria (thinking): No, you abandoned me before that.

Trying to get Josiah to guess her password (which was “Batman”):
Victoria: What does Daddy really love?
Josiah: Mooooooooommmy!!!

In the herbivore family:
C___: Hey, look! A convertabore! [Convertible]