Bill likes to keep the house fairly cool
Liam: Daddy, my feet are cold. They’re just frozen!
Liam is into all things marine
Liam: Boys are divers. Girls are mermaids.
While I was doing a workout video
Ariana: Mommy, can you take your shirt off, too, like those girls?
While talking to my mother on the phone
Ariana: Is Peepaw your friend? (Peepaw is my father, and in case there is confusion, yes, my mother’s husband)
We were in a bedroom at a friend’s beautiful home
Liam: Oh, this room is sooooooo cute! (After this incident Bill tried to make me vow never to speak in front of Liam again. How much manning-up can I honestly do with him when he’s around 4 females all day?) 🙂
During some cabin fever I played indoor baseball (nerf ball) with Liam. After a bad throw
Liam: Can you throw it like Daddy?
While setting the table
Bill: Does anyone know what kind of fruit is in orange juice?
Esther’s speech therapist was chatting with Liam one day, and I realized from their conversation that my animal-obsessed son doesn’t know what a turkey is, of all things
Sarah (showing a flash card of a cartoon turkey): Can you help Esther, Liam? What is this a picture of?
Liam: I don’t know.
Sarah: It’s a turkey. Turkeys are birds.
Liam: Noooooo, that’s silly!
Me (getting online in search of a turkey picture): Look. Here’s a real picture of a turkey. See, it’s a kind of bird. I know this is confusing, but the same turkey you eat comes from these kind of birds.
Liam: Oh, does that turkey live on bread?
Bill is often frustrated at children’s books and the message he feels like they send. It’s not unusual for him to improvise. I laugh, and the kids never even know what he’s doing. This particular story was about a little boy who wakes up on his birthday in search of presents, even going to his friends house looking for what they got him. He disappointingly can’t find anyone or any presents but is then overjoyed to walk into a surprise party.
Part of the real version: Today is Freddie’s birthday. “Where did they hide my presents?” Freddie says. “Bobby will have a present for me.” Bobby isn’t home.
Bill’s version: Today is selfish Freddie’s birthday. “Where did they hide my presents?” selfish Freddie says. “Bobby will have a present for me.” Bobby isn’t home. It was the judgment of God.
(No, my husband doesn’t believe it’s a sin to look forward to presents, nor does he believe every time something doesn’t go our way that it is God’s judgment. Just clarifying).