One of Bill’s friends just asked him how I was doing with the sadness I had experienced a couple of months back, and it reminded me that I haven’t given an update on here. There is much to praise God for, and since I posted my concerns on here, I want to also give praise where it is due.
First, the fact that people are still asking gives me so much joy. Can I be any more blessed with people who love me and pray for me?! Seriously, I have been smothered in prayer. Thank you, thank you, sweet friends! Your prayers were the best gift you could have given me.
As far as the sadness, I haven’t had even a moment of those feelings since the day I posted. At the same time as the post, I also opened up to my small group and my accountability group, and Bill told some dear brothers. Weird that telling people stopped the sadness, huh? Absolutely not! Neither my friends/family nor the fact that I “got it off my chest” stopped the attacks, but God did. I am convinced because of His promises that He heard the prayers of His people and, in His beautiful grace, answered us, and He did it without any change on my part (more on that below). All glory to God!
Many friends have asked if I am still taking the medicine. I am. Bill is much more faith-filled than I am. I wish it weren’t true, but I sinfully doubt my God’s powers almost every day. Before we took action, Bill wanted us to ask God to heal my sadness so we wouldn’t be tempted toward pride. It was Bill, too, who encouraged me to tell others what was going on. I wanted to hide it. Bottom line: Bill trusted God’s promises, I didn’t. Thank you, gracious God, for giving me a man I don’t deserve and for using him to draw me closer to you! God answered, and I was humbled. My worship of control was pulled out from under me, and I have rejoiced over and over to have a God who is large and in charge, a God who loves me and continues to grow me even though I continue spitting in His face. What mercy!
Thank you again for your prayers. I ask that you continue praying for both of us and other friends. As I opened up about the hard time I was having, I found out there were several other deacons in our church who had been experiencing the exact same thing as I was (unexplained sadness, nightmares, etc.) at the same time. It reminded me that we really do battle with the spiritual forces of evil, but as a dear friend reminded me, I have nothing to fear because of Jesus. That’s why He gave me the shield of faith, so I, through His power, can extinguish all Satan’s flaming darts. There is much to rejoice over! Rejoice with me.