Bill and I have lately been reevaluating our priorities based on some new insights. This mainly came after reading “Feminine Appeal” by Carolyn Mahaney. In her chapter on working at home, she addresses the woman’s top priority–to be a helpmate to her husband.
After talking with Bill about this chapter, we began thinking about how I would be the biggest help to him, so we looked at what was Bill’s greatest responsibility. According to Scripture, this responsibility is to pursue godliness himself and to lead his family in godliness. We began realizing that everything I do as a wife and mother needs to be centered around helping Bill in this pursuit.
Based on this knowledge, Bill began evaluating every aspect of our lives–our kids, home, food, health, sleep, schedules, activities, etc. and thought about how each area fits in to helping him achieve that goal. He then began to delegate some new tasks to me, took some of my tasks away that weren’t important, and we both began to change our priorities.
Here are a few things we have changed:
1. I changed my exercise time to later in the day so I could sleep in thirty more minutes in the morning. This way, I can stay up thirty minutes more the night before so we have sufficient time to talk about things and read and pray together.
2. When I wake up at 4:30, I shower right away instead of waiting until he leaves for work. When we have our quiet times during the same part of the morning, I selfishly can’t seem to stop myself from running to him to tell him something I’ve discovered or ask him a question. Each time I do this, it takes away from his time with the Lord. If I’m in the shower, I can’t disturb him. 🙂
3. When I am working with the kids during the day, I strive to think about their salvation instead of having a smooth day. For instance, our main goals with Liam right now is to help him understand language. The more he understands, the more Bill can teach him about our amazing Savior. That’s a different perspective than I’ve had before.
4. Many days I talk way too much when Bill gets home because I have hardly talked all day long. Because I am married to the greatest listener in the world, my talking would often prevent Bill from doing his work at home or spending time with the kids. We came up with several outlets for me where I can talk to other women during the day. I have joined MOPS, go to a mom’s day twice a month at church, meet with another woman once a week, and have begun scheduling a play date once a month among other things. Though my schedule is a bit busier, our marriage has been blessed greatly because I have become a better listener to my husband and I have freed him up more.
5. I take the kids on an outing most afternoons and don’t return home until around 4:00. Since Bill gets home around 3:40, this gives him a short amount of time to be completely alone (something he doesn’t get any other time of the day) to pray and gather himself before the demands of being a husband and father come bursting through the door.
6. We have made diet, exercise, and sleep a bigger priority so we can have the energy to serve the way we need to.
These are not the only changes we have made, but we have both been amazed how much God has blessed us for simply changing this priority a bit. The decisions I have to make each day are clearer, and I have joy watching my husband and our family grow in Christ each day.