The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us

The One Who’s There


Many women I know will tell me that they are not very dependent on their husbands.  Not me.  I am pitifully dependent on him.  Bill is by far my favorite person to be with, and he is what brings me more joy than anything else.  I have amazing friends, but I can never think of a time when I wanted to be with a friend (or my children) more than with Bill.  When I’m with him, I feel complete.

Lately, though, Bill has been working quite a bit of overtime to help with future purchases we have to make.  Needless to say, I have been a bit lonely and a bit clingy when he does finally get home. 🙂  A few mornings ago, though, I was reminded of the One I have who is sweeter than Bill.

Bill leaves during my quiet time, and I became very sad when the time came that morning.  After he left, I had one of those precious, rare (at least for me) moments of prayer when you don’t want to do anything but sit at God’s feet.  I usually only pray for 5-10 minutes in the morning, but I couldn’t get up for more than 45 minutes that morning, and then only by sheer will.  As I was pouring my heart out to my Lord, He seemed to wrap me in His arms and remind me that He never leaves and that He is the only true source of joy.  It was almost as though I realized for the first time that God doesn’t go to work, doesn’t go to the store, doesn’t take the kids out, doesn’t even leave to go to the bathroom.  He is always there listening to my prayers and listening to my heart when I am too self-centered to approach Him in prayer.  Bill’s name means strong protector, but God is a much stronger protector than Bill could imagine. 

I have been going through a long season of self-pity, and it was a beautiful wake-up to be reminded that there is One who knows my heart better than I do, and He never leaves me alone, even for a second.  He is still working all things, including every circumstance in my life, together for the good of those who love Him.  I pray He continues teaching me to sit with Him and talk to Him each time I long for an unavailable Bill.  I especially pray that He will show me grace to make Him my only God instead of trying to use Bill as a substitute.

10 thoughts on “The One Who’s There

  1. Courtney,

    Your blogs are so sweet. I guess I just wanted to let you know I feel the same. I cry when Ryan leaves for a trip (even if it’s just for the weekend) but I always have wonderful times with the Lord when he’s gone too. Funny how that works. Having Ryan for a husband is one of the most precious gifts I have ever received from the Lord, but I know that it’s not the gift that meets all my needs, it’s the giver himself, my Lord Jesus.

  2. Hey, I can so identify with you here! This summer, especially, I have been dealing with similar things with Mark, b/c he’s been quite busy with his classes & I can get clingy to him, when he doesn’t have alot of time to give for practical reasons! And as we’ve talked about it, the same thing has been pinpointed in my life that you mentioned–I need to go to God with my needs & not try to make Mark a poor substitute for my all-sufficient God!

    Thanks for being so open with your posts! It encourages my heart! 🙂

    Love ya!

  3. So… did you order the T-shirt? 🙂

  4. Great post, Courtney! And very challenging. I felt similar when David was gone the WHOLE month of June!

  5. oh…and I meant to add: David has an 8 hour staff meeting today and the pastor has implemented a “no phone” policy while they are meeting. While I prob wouldn’t usually call him much during the day, it kills me to know I can’t…even if I wanted to.

  6. Kathleen,

    You just made me miss you so much. I hated that I didn’t get to see you when Ryan was in. BTW, your trip to Vegas looked absolutely amazing. Even Elvis was holding up signs about salvation. 🙂

  7. Kathleen? Kathleen & Ryan? The Kathleen I know? aaaaaaaaaaaaa! how can we get in touch?!

  8. Hi Courtney,
    Great post! A perfect reminder that we are complete in Christ! I would like to invite you to ‘do a devo’, free, interactive devotions that are posted on my blog: Fnding Hope in Him. Thanks for sharing your heart with the world!

  9. Welcome, Finding Hope in Him! Because it is a bit past my bedtime right now, I can’t do one of the devos until later, but I did get to glance at them and a little about you and your books. You seem to have an amazing testimony, and I look forward to learning more about and from you. Blessings!

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