The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us

A Healthy Level of Insanity

13 Comments

This one came from my mom.  For those of you who know her, you’ll see that this is right down her alley.  

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom.  Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over his caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, “For smuggling diamonds.”
7. Finish all your sentences with “according to the prophecy.”
8. Don’t use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, and keep a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
12. Sing along at the opera especially if it’s in a different language and you don’t know the tune.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name: Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I Won! I Won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives: they’re loose!”
19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the poor economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…smile.  It’s called therapy!

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13 thoughts on “A Healthy Level of Insanity

  1. oh my goodness! i cannot stop laughing right now!

  2. Very clever! Mother knows best! hehe Anita

  3. I love it! Thanks for sharing.

    I think I’ll tell the kids #19 tonight.

    Michelle

  4. That was really funny, and I needed a laugh. Thanks for sharing!

    natalyn.

    http://www.nattysfamily.blogspot.com

  5. It’s not often you can read something that makes you laugh out loud, thanks for that!

  6. LOVE IT! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

  7. That was a scream…can I use that on my blog???

    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~

  8. Hi there! This is hilarious.. I’d be too afraid to try any of those….

  9. That is too funny. I especially like the diamond smuggling.

  10. I love it!!! Thanks for the laughs. My favorite one was to runout of the zoo screaming “They’re loose! They’re loose.”

    The “insane” thing is that the first picture of terrifying things running loose that popped into my head was of a group of kids, not animals. I guess that goes to show who has five kids, huh?

    Sherri

  11. Those are great! I’ll have to try some tomorrow at work! Thanks for sharing!

  12. Pingback: From another blog « Say anything twice, just don’t yell…

  13. Love it..Thanks for that one. 🙂

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