The Bell Family

Random ponderings on God, life, and the humor all around us

The Problem of Unforgiveness


Bill has badgered me enough, so I am finally posting my first ever blog (something I made fun of when I first heard of them).  Though Bill says there doesn’t seem to be much point in posting if no one is reading, I say that it will serve us and our family by giving us opportunities to post how God has been working in our lives and look back later so we can have even more reason to praise Him for His goodness and grace.

I keep wondering what to post on, so I think I will probably just post on what is going on in my heart from day to day (and probably some random silliness from time to time).  Lately I have been dealing with the subject of unforgiveness.  I just finished a 7 month Inductive study of Genesis and was in awe of the work God did in Joseph’s life.  The forgiveness he gave his brothers was impossible apart from grace.  Because I usually don’t want to rely on grace, I am realizing how much bitterness I have in my heart because I can’t seem to forgive small things people have done in the past (sometimes way past).  I have seen too often the hardness that comes in people’s lives from an unforgiving heart, and I see the ugly reflection I give of Christ each time I am embittered.

Something else I have realized is that repentance is more than feeling sorry.  It is putting off the sin and putting on righteousness.  This kind of sin isn’t always an easy fix because it’s not like a T.V. addiction where you can do tangible things to take away the temptation.  This is simply a heart problem, so if anyone has practical suggestions on how to tackle this sin (besides the most important solution—prayer and reliance on God’s mercies), I would very much appreciate it.  I also covet your prayers in this area.

4 thoughts on “The Problem of Unforgiveness

  1. I understand exactly what you are saying. I also have been convicted, on more than one occasion, that unforgiveness is a heart issue of my own. I find that I thought I had forgiven but am still harboring ill feelings, insecurities, doubts, anger…the list could go on and on. I have been praying that God would make me aware of these feelings and deal with my heart. I have been doing study by Angela Thomas called Living your life as a Beautiful Offering and she was talking about Matthew 5:3 “‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven'”. She comments that healing takes time and when we come to God broken He pours out blessings. That spoke volumes to me because I feel like I should be “healed” by now. But God knows I’m still broken and I need to remember that and turn my heart to Christ when I am poor in spirit. Thanks for sharing and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. (By the way this is my first ever comment on a blog!)

  2. I will tell you what Nancy does…..she goes back to the love verse. She feels that if she works on loving the person, to the fullest extent that she can, then the forgiveness comes much more easily. Love is easy, when it is something that comes naturally. But sometimes, we have to work at it with certain people. Jesus told us to love even our enemies. Tough concept, but you can start by trying to find the things that you like about a person (or can at least stand about a person) and dwell on those things instead of the things we don’t like about that person. It easy to pick out what we don’t like about someone and to latch on to those things. Now, who do you suppose would want us to do that? I know this, Jesus loves me….even though he knows all about me, the times I fail him, the short comings I have, he knows every time I sin, BUT STILL HE FINDS A WAY TO LOVE ME….I’m glad he’s good at it because otherwise I’d be in big trouble. We all need to work at getting better at loving one another. As we get better at this love thing, I believe that getting better at the forgiveness thing will follow. The good news is that we can ask for, and get, God’s help. We never have to do it alone.

  3. Just wanted to say hi Courtney! 🙂

  4. Take these words from Charles Stanley’s book, The Source Of My Strength, to heart…..

    You cannot free yourself. But you can take the first step toward freedom by saying to the Lord today, “Lord, I am trusting You to help me face the emotional baggage I am carrying and to help me have the courage to walk through life without the pain, insecurities, frustration, and alienation I have been feeling. I am trusting You to free me and then to walk with me as I learn to live as a free human being and to enter into the full and wonderful life You have planned for me.”

    Hope this helps. God bless.
    Psalm 34:3

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