More Health Prayers Friday, Nov 13 2009

For the past month or so, I have been experiencing unexplained sadness mixed with very dark nightmares.  Everything has felt like it has been hard.  We have been doing all we can think of, beginning with lots and lots of prayer.  I have shared this with four close sisters and Bill has shared with a close brother.  All have been showering us with prayers, scripture, and encouragement.  I have also been consistently exercising 6 days/week and am getting plenty of sleep.  Still, though, God has chosen according to His perfect will not to take this away for now.

Today Bill shared with me that he has been wondering about a medicine  I have been taking.  We decided a few months ago that I should take a very powerful medicine for my Crohn’s.  I give myself injections every two weeks, and there are many dangerous potential side effects.  As we researched today, we found out that one such side effect is depression.  The medicine takes about 12 weeks to take effect, and as we compared times, we realized the sadness started around the same time the Humira should have started making a difference.

I share this with you for a few reasons.  One, pray for wisdom from my doctor and us as we decide on the best step to take.  Second, pray that the sadness goes away, even if not related to the medicine.  Third, pray.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  Seriously, though, I need prayer.  Ultimately, this hopelessness is a lie coming from the enemy, and I am going to fight him with all that’s in me because I have the Holy Spirit in me, dang it!  And He can kick some serious tail!  Some of you who read are the godliest family and friends I know, and I know when I ask you to pray, you will.  Thank you all for loving me through this time.

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Two Already!? Wednesday, Nov 5 2008

Today is darling Ariana’s second birthday.  Of all the birthdays we’ve celebrated with our children thus far, this one has been the most difficult to believe.  I remember Ariana’s dramatic whirlwind birth, the announcement she was a girl, and the doctor’s working hard to try to get her to start breathing like it was just a few weeks ago.  I remember getting so excited and joyfilled every time she woke me up in the middle of the night because that meant I got to nurse her and be close to her (not kidding).  I remember her first big smiles, when she first sat, her sweet crawl, the way she grinned from ear to ear every time Liam was in the room.  I remember trying to get her to use sign language for “more” when she was 7 months old and her saying the word “more” instead.  I remember her first steps during our community group time.  I remember working on catechisms with Liam and asking, “Who made you?” only to have Ariana surprisingly answer “God!”

Ariana’s birthday is such a surprise because of sin issues I struggled with when Liam was a baby.  I was so focused on worry (will he ever sit, crawl, walk, talk?) instead of trusting God that I rarely treasured the little blessing God had given me.  By God’s grace, I became aware of that sinfulness by the time Ariana was born and was able to enjoy her (and Liam) without most of the fear I experienced before.  I think somewhere deep down I thought that if I soaked up every moment she would stay a baby forever.  Today I realize she’s not a baby anymore but a wonderful, beautiful, happy, submissive toddler–the next phase to treasure.

As is tradition, I ask each of you to write Ariana a note wishing her a happy birthday, sharing memories, blessing her, and/or praying for her.  We keep all these comments written for our children to be read to them in future years.  Thank you, sweet friends and family!

Merciful God, I will never understand the grace you have shown to us.  Was it not amazing enough to snatch us from the death we deserve through your perfect Son’s substitution?  But you just keep going, giving blessing after blessing we don’t deserve.  Some of the greatest blessings you have given me are in my children, and today I praise you especially for our second, little Ariana.  Thank you so much for using her to make us more like You, showing us through her example how to trust and be filled with joy even in difficult situations and how to show complete compassion.  I pray that you continue using Bill and me to show her the gospel in everything we do, that she will one day be redeemed from the bonds she is in and will live a life with the cross at the center of her very being.  Help her learn to be a godly little lady who by Your grace may become a godly woman, loving others more than herself.  My biggest prayer is that Your glory is expressed more magnificently through this child’s life as I have already experienced in so many ways.  You are good, and I praise you wishing I could do it better.  Amen.

Ariana and one of her favorite activities–putting stickers all over herself

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Focus On the Good Wednesday, Jan 9 2008

Sunday, I was slightly hurt when a good-intentioned friend brought my darling little girl out of the nursery at church and said, “Dra-ma!”  Worried, I asked what had happened.  Laughing, she told me how every time one of the other babies cried, Ariana would look up at her with puppy dog eyes because she also wanted attention.  She then went on to say, “I know you’ve told me how dramatic she is before, but I had never seen it.  She was so funny!”

Looking at a teacher with attention-seeking eyes didn’t seem so dramatic to me, and I wondered why she made a big deal about it.  It struck me that the key was in those words, “I know you’ve told me how dramatic she is…”  She was focused on it because I had brought her attention to it. 

All children are sinful, and there are definitely appropriate times when we should discuss their sinfulness with others.  One such time would be when seeking counsel about how to deal with the sinfulness from someone who has experience in that area.  However, as a mom I tend to only draw people’s attention to the evil in my children instead of the good.  This is a form of my pridefulness.  I don’t want others to think I’m vain about my children; instead I want them to think I’m a good mother who is aware of every area of sin that my children show (a.k.a. that I’m not one of those parents who somehow manage to overlook their child’s obvious sinful patterns–please note sarcasm toward myself) .  

God began convicting me deeply that day about my attitude toward my children.  Why do I never tell people how fun and joyful Ariana is or how concerned she gets when any member of the household is upset?  Why do I not talk about how easy-going she is (especially considering she has a two-year old brother)?  Why do I rarely talk about Liam’s compassion and tenderness?  Why do I focus on his boyhood energy as if it’s a bad thing?  Why do I not talk about how obedient he is most of the time or how his little mind is like a sponge (you should hear him quote memory verses and catechisms)?  And why do I not share with people how much joy both our children bring us and how much I praise God for these little jewels almost every day?  How sad I would be without them!

The reason I don’t is because I am still the worst of sinners regardless of the grace God has given me.  I am focused more on people’s attitudes toward me than I am the blessing God pours out for me every day.  I would rather make myself look good and my children look bad.  I am discontent with the (wonderful) lot God has given me in this world.  I still want to take all glory from God instead of living a life that is focused on His gospel.  Praise God that Jesus is still interceding for me every moment so that despite my vileness I will one day stand in the presence of His holiness!  How amazing!

My prayer is that God will show even more grace by opening my blind eyes to His goodness and the lovely children He has blessed me with instead of allowing me to give in to my instincts to see only evil when I see my children.  I pray that each time I am tempted to see their evil, I will first see the evil in my own heart and will show them a similar grace to the one God shows me each minute.  Will you pray with me?  

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Gestational Diabetes Monday, Dec 17 2007

I just got my sugar results and for the first time I came up positive for gestational diabetes.  This is going to mean some diet and exercise changes for me, so I ask that you all pray for my perseverance and the baby’s health.  

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Gospel Transformation Tuesday, Aug 21 2007

As I have posted before, I have been going through a kind of spiritual drought for some time now.  No matter how much I don’t want to, I keep wallowing in self-pity and imagining a life better than the one I have.  I keep trying and trying to be pure, but the more I try the more sinful I become.  The more I put forth effort, the more I get frustrated and want to give up altogether.

Bill and I have been praying for my discouragement for quite some time, and though I can’t pinpoint a specific time, God is now (in His perfect timing) answering that prayer.  A few weeks ago, I broke down weeping in prayer and realized not just my sinfulness, but God’s grace and the power He has to change anything about me. 

I began to really see that I am a “do, do, do” person.  Because Bill and I feel so strongly about gospel-centrality, I will be the first person to teach that you can only change through the grace of God; however, I am the last person to live by that principle.  I still want to read the latest book about how to be a great mom, wife, mentor, friend, etc. and follow the amazing principles to succeed.  I’m still determined to use the “if/then” method.  “If I only do this, then this will happen.”

I know I’m thick, but I am just beginning to understand the reality that I absolutely cannot do anything apart from God’s grace.  We just began membership classes at our church, and our lead pastor was talking about the different personalities of people who are not focused on the gospel.  One was the person who is always focusing on his/her sinfulness apart from the gospel.  I realized my pastor was describing me.  I have just begun understanding the gospel in the past year, and I knew one of the first things to do was to realize your sinfulness.  Well, I stopped there.  I eventually came to the point of despair.  This despair has led to legalism, trying to prove I’m good enough since it’s obvious to me I’m not.

What has happened is that in my pursuit of humility, I have forgotten the most important and freeing part–my sins are paid for and my God is more powerful than my sins.  Of course I’m unable to do anything good.  I’m a finite human being.  But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  All I have to do is rely on His grace and trust Him to do it. 

I know to several of my amazing, godly girlfriends who read this blog, this is a “duh” statement.  You may be wondering how in the world I’ve missed this.  I’ve missed it because I don’t have faith like I should.  I want my own glory and praise.  God, though, is revealing it to me in spite of myself, and I have been enjoying the sweetest fellowship with Him I have ever known.  My eyes are being opened to freedom, true freedom and weightlessness.  For the first time, I am preaching the true gospel to myself, and my life is being transformed by leaps and bounds.    

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Isaac Lally Friday, Jul 20 2007

I would like to ask each of you to pray for some friends of ours.  They found out a few days ago that their four year old son, Isaac, has medulla blastoma.  You can visit his webpage by going to http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/visitAPage.do.  Type “isaaclally” under “Caringbridge Site.”

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Pregnancy Fears Monday, Jul 2 2007

We are filled with so much joy about the new little one God is growing inside me, but with my pregnancies come many fears.  A few years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, and while this poses no problems for the baby, it frequently causes many problems for the mother.  There is always a risk.  Some mothers have no problems, but many do.  I have fallen into the latter catagory during the last two pregnancies.  I ended up having several problems after delivering Ariana which led to surgery and home treatments every 8 weeks.  For a few months, I felt healthier than I had in ages, and I thought God was going to heal me (there is no cure so far), but lately the disease is reminding me once again of its existence.  The scary part now is that my body has begun rejecting my medication.

Last night I barely slept from anxiety.  I feared what would happen to my body during this pregnancy, I feared raising my other two children amidst the weariness and pain Crohn’s causes, and I questioned why God didn’t just take it away from me.  Then, this morning God reminded me of his faithfulness once again as I reflected on His word.  

Bill and I have been memorizing a passage of scripture each week now for several months, and last week’s was 2 Corinthians 12:9b.  This was Jesus’s response to Paul after pleading three times for the thorn in his flesh to be removed.  It says, 

” ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Through this I saw clearly for the first time why I still have the disease even though I have asked repeatedly for healing.  It is to reflect God’s glory perfectly.  My weakness is transparent to show the strength of Christ.  Every burst of energy I have, every semi-pain free day I have, all I’m able to accomplish is only through Christ’s power.  As I reflected on this, I did something I have never done before.  I praised God for the disease he has inflicted on my body.  ”Though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision, it’s through this that His glory shines so bright” (adapted from the ”Valley of Vision“).  What an amazing reminder I have every day of God’s greatness!  Instead of wallowing in self pity and feeling uncomfortable each time I’m asked how I’m doing, I can use this sickness to point others to the cross (including my children).  Praise God!  Forgive me for my self-centered, self-glorifying heart in this area.

I do covet your prayers, especially during the pregnancy, but my eyes are finally being opened to understand the greatness of the disease.  I will live with this for a few short years, yes, but then I will get a new, perfect body when I finally get to see my God’s face and fall at His feet in worship throughout eternity, understanding more fully why He is worthy of all praise, honor, and glory!   

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1d Thursday, Apr 19 2007

Click here, here, and here to read the first three sections of this prayer study.  Today concludes this series of posts. 

D.  Forgiving to Be Forgiven
or Forgiving Because We’re Forgiven (v. 14-15)
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This passage finishes with Jesus reiterating a point from His prayer about being forgiven and forgiving others.  On one level, a clear reading of this text says that if we want to be forgiven by God, we must forgive others.  This is most certainly true.  But, as I explained above, I think this finds it’s roots in the fact that someone who doesn’t forgive really isn’t asking for forgiveness.  But, at the same time, I think it ought to be pointed out that we can only forgive because we have been forgiven by God through Christ.  Thus, if we don’t forgive others, we are giving the kind of bad fruit that evidences an unregenerate (that is, unsaved or unchanged) heart.  And the unregenerate person is most certainly not forgiven by God.  I think Jesus says this because He wants to drive home a point.  And that point is that forgiveness flows both in and out.  The same goes for grace, mercy, and compassion.  To be shown mercy but never show mercy, to be shown grace but not to show grace, to be shown compassion but never show compassion are all signs that the reality is not present in you.  In a sense, I think this is one way we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (see Philippians).  To bring it all together, I think that Jesus is emphasizing this to point to the sin in our lives.  And a prayer to God that doesn’t recognize our sinfulness, ask for forgiveness, then ask for empowerment to spread the mercy and grace we’ve been shown to others is really no prayer at all.  And the only way to have forgiveness is through Christ.  Therefore, to offer a prayer that God will hear and honor, we must be clothed with Christ as well as live like Christ. 

E.                 Final Conclusions and Generalizations

1) Christ’s disciples are assumed to be people who pray.  Whatever else we may draw from this passage, Jesus flat-out assumes that prayer is expected of the Christian.
2) As much as prayer is meant to exalt God, it is meant to humble us.
3) The length of a prayer is not nearly as important as the heart of the person praying.  In every word we speak to God, we ought to be humble, honest, and to the point.
4) God is pleased to receive prayers that are offered in this manner.
5) We should never pray in such a way that we seek praise for ourselves either from others or from ourselves.
6) This passage doesn’t say anything about what we should expect from God in prayer.  In fact, it seems to suggest that when we pray, we speak to God, not the other way around.  That may be possible, but this passage doesn’t address it.
7) When we ask for things, we should ask for things that glorify God, that destroy our sinful selves, and that help us to depend on God alone for every single thing.

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1c Wednesday, Apr 18 2007

Click here and here to read the first two parts

C. A Model for Prayer (v. 9-13)
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, let your name be treated with reverence. 10 Let your kingdom come, let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.   [You can tell I selected certain footnoted options for the version of the prayer I’ll comment on] 

Jesus now models prayer for us.  I’ll start with some general statements about the whole prayer before examining its parts.  First, notice how short the prayer is.  I find this to be more evidence for leaning toward shorter prayers.  As we found in Point B, God is not impressed by long, repetitious prayers.  Jesus’ example reflects that.  Of course, longer prayers are fine.  But it seems to prove that there is nothing wrong with short prayers.  Second, Jesus’ prayer is not terribly comprehensive.  I suppose it holds to the ACTS (Adoration, Confession [as if Jesus needed to do that!], Thanksgiving, Supplication] prayer, but not so formally.  I think it’s worth noting that Jesus covers some very basic concepts without getting complicated or technical.  There is no reason to think that we need long sentences or big words to pray appropriately to God.  Simplicity is a good thing.  Third, the prayer doesn’t end with “Amen.”  I just thought I’d point that out. 

Now I’d like to examine the verses one by one:
v. 9 – First, note that Jesus prays to God as Father.  Because of Jesus, we have the same right to come to God as His child.  Essentially, we are talking to our celestial Daddy.  Second, Jesus immediately exalts the father and implicitly humbles Himself.  That should be the same for us.  When we praise God (especially in prayer), we should understand the vast difference between God’s holiness and our lowliness.  As such, we should seek not only to treat God’s Name with reverence, but pray that others will as well.
v. 10 – Jesus here hits two points: God’s heavenly rule and His earthly rule.  This sentence focuses on God’s dual rule over heaven and earth.  By example, Jesus is teaching us to pray that God’s kingdom would come and come soon.  This has implications not only in reference to Jesus’ return (which we should pray to come soon), but also that God’s kingdom would become more present here on Earth.  This means that we are praying for the conversion of souls and the glorification of God’s Name among all peoples.  Jesus also focuses on God’s earthly rule, where we should hope to see God’s will revealed and followed.  This balances the comment about the kingdom coming, because we should wish that God would be obeyed by all people (which is a way of saying we want go to convert/regenerate all people).  In so doing, we not only focus on God’s work on Earth, but also again exalt Him because He is worthy to be obeyed.
v. 11 – More than having to do with food, this asks for daily provision.  Basically, this is a way of asking God to deliver on His promises to care as He does the sparrow or the flower in the field.  And, in so doing, we are implicitly asking God to take away worries and fears, because we are trusting God to give us everything we need (food, clothing, shelter, companionship, etc.) so that we have no reason for pride.  In praying this, we are minimizing our work that we do to “earn” income by acknowledging that those things come from God Himself.
v. 12 – This particular sentence is both easy and hard to say.  It’s easy because we are asking forgiveness.  Of course, if we really seek to see all of our sins, this can actually be quite hard.  But I think it’s much easier to ask forgiveness from God than to forgive others.  And because Jesus links them together, it seems to imply that we have no right to ask forgiveness from God if we haven’t forgiven others.  And it seems that the reasoning for that is if we haven’t forgiven others, then we haven’t really repented of our sin (which I would link with forgiveness) of anger/bitterness/envy/whatever which nullifies our request.  In essence, we’re not really seeking forgiveness because we haven’t let go of the sin of unforgiveness (more on this below).  But if we truly lay all of our sin before God, then we are again humbling ourselves before Him and acknowledging that we have no way to get rid of sin without God’s active work in our lives.
v. 13 – Finally, Jesus finishes the prayer by again addressing sin.  He asks that God would first lead us.  This is important.  Implied in the request is that God will lead us somewhere.  And since He’s leading us, we want Him to lead us into paths of righteousness.  Again, this should humble us because we don’t want to be led into temptation.  Why?  Because when faced with temptation, we usually take the plunge into the sin itself.  Asking God to deliver us from the evil one acknowledges that temptations and sinfulness are fueled by Satan, our adversary.  As such, if we want to escape sin (and we should), we can’t do it on our own.  We need God to “deliver us” from both the sin and the one who want us to sin. 

To summarize, I’ll tentatively draw ­­­five main ideas/principles from this model prayer.  1) In prayer we should actively seek to exalt God and humble ourselves before Him.  2) In prayer we should pray for God to work actively to make and shape disciples for His glory.  3) We should trust in God alone, acknowledging that everything we have comes from Him and, therefore, we have no reason to worry.  4) We should ask God for forgiveness by asking Him to cleanse our sinfulness and empower us to obey Him.  Implicitly, we should recognize that any good thing that we do, including repentance and deliverance from sin comes from God’s good hand.  5) All things we ask for in prayer should seek God’s glory and honor, not our petty desires.

Click here to read the concluding section.

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1b Tuesday, Apr 17 2007

Click here to read the first part of this study 

B. Get to the Point
or Praying to an All-Knowing God (v. 7-8)
7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  

Jesus gives us a second comparison between a bad example and a good example.  This time our bad example is not the “hypocrite,” but “the Gentiles.”   Jesus condemns the Gentiles for their repetition of “empty phrases” in prayer, specifically citing that they think repetition itself will get God to listen.  Interestingly, the charge against them is not so much the action, but the heart behind it, for they think repeating themselves will force or coerce God to listen to them.  I’m not exactly sure what is meant by “empty phrases,” but my guess would have something to do with thinking that specific repeated (or even varied) phrases will somehow bring one closer to God (or God closer to oneself).  I think this can be done in a number of ways, but constantly reciting Ave Marias or the Lord’s Prayer or the same type/pattern of prayers all the time thoughtlessly would be a few examples.  Even the way many (including me) will use “spiritual” sounding phrases that we’ve heard others use to sound “holier” would be included in Jesus’ criticism. 

The positive example Jesus sets for us is to trust in God’s sovereignty and infinite knowledge.  Because God knows all things, He knows what we want before we even start praying, really before the desire even enters us.  I think the link between v. 7 and v. 8 is a little hard to decipher, but it appears to say two things.  First, we should get to the point.  There is no reason to feel that God will hear us more because we repeat ourselves than if we say it once.  The only reason God listens to us is because He chose to draw us near to Himself through His Son.  There is no other way to be heard by God than to have Christ’s righteousness covering us and Jesus interceding for us (which I intend to deal with in a far distant study lesson).  That is to say, prayers must be offered by faith.  To give an example, imagine the child in the store that says, “Daddy, may I please have the candy?  Please, please?  I really want it.  Will you get me the candy?  Please, Daddy, please?  Pretty please?”  What is the child doing?  Aside from begging, the child thinks her father won’t give her the candy unless she pesters him into doing it.  While the analogy only goes so far, what it shows is the lack of faith the child has in her father.  If she believed her father loved her and cared for her, she would be content with simply asking and then accepting his answer.  For us, we pray, understanding that God knows our hearts, knows our desires, loves us immeasurably, and will ultimately do what is best for us. 

Second, everything we say should have a purposeful meaning.  Using “stock phrases” (you know, the phrases you never say any other time except when you pray) or tossing the standard “in Jesus’ name, Amen” (which most people don’t know why they do) onto the end of a prayer out of ritualistic obligation or following a form for the sake of following a form could all be examples of “empty phrases.”  Again, in the example above, the child said a bunch of really stupid, repetitive (or even empty) stuff to convince her father to listen.  Did that make her plea more convincing?  I doubt it.  A simple, heartfelt request, “Daddy, may I please have the candy?  I would really like some” would have easily sufficed.  The father would (presumably) know his daughter’s heart and desires already and would respond accordingly for her welfare and joy.  And obviously our heavenly Father does know us, far better than we know ourselves.  Therefore, everything we say in prayer should be true, from the heart, and intentional. 

I don’t have much more to say in conclusion.  I think a good principle is to start short (more on this below).  Long prayers don’t make us any more holy than short prayers.  We’re only holy through Christ’s death.  When we pray, we should go for short, precise, to-the-point prayers that reflect our heart.  I would certainly endorse trying to be comprehensive in praying (which using a form like ACTS [Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication] helps us avoid), but genuine, “partial” prayers would be better than wooden, “comprehensive” prayers.  The point is not length or lyricality, but legitimacy.

Click here to read the next part

 

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