Pregnancy Update March 27, 2009

Some of you keep nagging, ahem, encouraging me to give a pregnancy update, so here is the little I have to tell.

Original due date was April 15th, but according to ultrasound and Baby’s size, they have pushed it back to April 27th.  My original prediction was that I would pop this little one out the first weekend in April (next weekend) since all three of my others were between 9 and 12 days early, but I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that it might be later than I had thought.  Depending on which due date you go with (we obviously prefer tax day), I am either 37 or 35 weeks along.

Everything is going well so far.  The best news I have gotten was that I don’t have gestational diabetes this time (I did with Esther).  In fact, this was my best sugar test yet.  Praise God!  I have been staying fairly healthy this time, walking at least five days a week, doing yoga, even some safe-for-pregnancy push-ups.    I also go to the chiropractor each week to try to stay aligned for delivery.  This has by far been my highest energy pregnancy, and it is making a huge difference at this point.  I have been able to stay more active with the kids and have been able to serve Bill better.  Yesterday was the first day I decided it was time to stop going down slides with Ariana, telling her I didn’t want to make Baby come early when I think he/she needs to cook a little longer.

I will be delivering at Floyd this time, and one of my friends and fellow Sojourners, Heather Lewis is delivering.  Woohoo!  I will also be having quite a full house in the delivery room.  Obviously Bill, my rockin’ doula Lorie, Heather, and the nurses will be there, but I have also invited my beautiful and wise mother and my dear friend Lindsey (who I think will be live blogging) to be part of the occasion.  We’ve never invited anyone else, and I am so excited to share this with them.

I will be attempting to have another natural birth.  The fact that I’ve done it before sets me at ease because I know what to expect, but it also increases my dread because I know what to expect.    I can honestly say, though, that this is the first time I have not felt anxious about either the delivery or the new baby.  I trust in God’s hand over this.

As always, I desire your prayers during this time.  We will keep you all posted.  As I said above, I think Lindsey is going to be live blogging (don’t expect any pictures of baby actually coming out), so that might be fun for some of you, too.

Who Do I Look Hot For? March 16, 2009

All you grammar people please show me grace in my title… 

So, each time some new aspect of submission really clicks, I find so much joy in Christ for how He displays Himself to me through my marriage.  The latest is changing for who I’m trying to look good.  It should stand to reason that the person I most want to impress is my husband, right?  But I have been realizing that I rarely prioritize that way.  My priorities go something like this:  1. how good I think I look and 2. how good others think I look.  Ways this comes out is that I will get a hairstyle I think is attractive, buy clothes I think are attractive, try to have a body image that fits society’s standards, etc.  Though I always think Bill will like what he sees (which he does, BTW), doing things in that order isn’t taking him into account.

Let me give a couple of examples of how this has been looking for me over the past few months.  One, I never get a haircut without first looking through magazines or the Internet and asking him for his opinion.  He loves me trying new things, but through this I have realized Bill prefers me with shortish hair.  I never really knew that because I just decide what I want and then ask him what he thinks after the deed is done.  Because Courtney is Bill’s standard of beauty, he always likes what he sees, but I am now understanding that I have been asking him to change his standard of beauty.  As one pastor has said, “A man may be initially attracted to his future wife when she has long hair.  Then two weeks after the wedding she cuts her hair off.  Why would she do that if her husband liked her hair long?  Who is she really trying to impress?”

I used to love surprising Bill with new outfits I would wear for a date or some other event.  Though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I will almost always model it for him first to get his opinion before I remove the tags especially if I’m trying a new style.  I just got a new shirt from someone recently.  I wore it one evening around the house and told Bill I planned to wear it on our date.  When date day came, Bill got in our closet and pulled out a different top.  Thinking he had simply forgotten about the new one, I reminded him of my plans and asked what he would rather me wear.  He lovingly confessed that the other shirt was fine but that he really preferred the one he chose because it brought out my eyes.  This thrilled me because I knew he would be pleased with how I looked but was difficult at the same time as I didn’t want to wear something “old.”  Seriously, this was a difficult point of submission for me–ridiculous.  I took the shirt he had chosen, put it on, and was convicted that it was more important in my heart  for me to wear the new shirt for me than for him.  Why?  Because of my sinful selfishness and desire to have authority over him.  The pastor I mentioned above was once telling his congregation that his wife picks all his clothes for him.  He said, “You may be thinking that I don’t look that good to you, but who cares what you think!  My wife likes it, and that’s the only person I want to look good for.”  I asked for forgiveness for caring more about myself than Bill and joyfully wore the shirt he preferred (good thing, too.  The other one really doesn’t go with my hair color now that I think about it). 

Bill has begun making similar changes, and we are having a blast with it.  One of our dates a few weeks ago was simply walking around the mall and picking clothing in which we thought our spouse would look good.  Even though we didn’t buy anything, it was so beneficial to get to see what each others’ tastes were and to get ideas for the next time we go shopping.  It’s also fun to get “the look” almost every day from my man because he knows I’m centering my appearances on his desires and no one else’s (you married ladies know the look I’m talking about–if you non-married ones know it, get out of the relationship now!).    How similar this is to our relationship in Christ.  Though we are always beautiful to Him no matter what, thanks to His sacrifice on the cross, we should strive to put His standards of beauty above anyone else’s, including our own.