Giving Mommy a Break Friday, Apr 27 2007

I’m writing this while the kids are sleeping peacefully for their afternoon nap.  The apartment is quiet and everything seems rather ordinary–except for one thing: Mommy’s not here.  You see, Courtney took the afternoon (and possibly evening) off to have a small personal retreat.  One thing that has been hard to do for Courtney as a full-time nursing mother is to give her any “vacation time”–more than that, just a little time off!   For those of us who work for companies, we not only get vacation time, we actually get to stop doing our job at some point during the day and usually have one or two entire days off, namely weekends.  Not so for the 24-hour mommy.  The job is constant, tiring, demanding, exhausting, _________ (feel free to toss in any other word you think would best describe it).  So, in order to help Courtney get a break and be rejuvenated, I’m taking responsibility for the kids while she goes wherever she wants to be alone and privately worship God.

Now, I don’t tell you readers (all three or so of you ) this to build myself up (imagine macho guy voice: “Yeah, I’m making the huge sacrifice of watching the kids by myself so that Court can have some time to herself.”  Yeah, right.) because a few hours isn’t that bad.  No, I’m writing this to honor my wife who hasn’t gotten more than a few four-hour breaks from being a Mommy in almost six months.  And for me, it is a very small thing to watch my little boy and girl for the rest of the day.  I’m looking forward to some special time with them, so that their Mommy will have no obligations, no time constraints, no hungry babies, and no temper-tantrum-throwing toddlers.  Will she be glad to come home at the end of the evening and take up her mommy duties again?  I’m sure she will, for she embraces and loves caring for our children, feeling it is the very life to which God has called her.  But does she need this solitude?  I’m sure she does.  I can’t imagine going six months paying claims for twelve hours a day, seven days a week!

Me?  I’ve got it easy.  I work forty (or a little more) hours a week, sitting in a cubicle, using a computer, getting way overpaid for what I do.  So, today I want to honor my wife by giving her an opportunity for quiet reflection and, during that time, by sneaking onto the internet to tell all of you how amazing, how patient, how loving, how grace-filled, how radiant my Courtney is, both as a wife and as a mother.  I praise God that He gave her to me as my bride.  And even when she’s wearing spit-up, correcting Liam for the umpteenth time, and cleaning up the havoc wreaked in a way only a toddler can do, I know that her Father is making her more holy, more like Christ every single day by His Spirit.

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Updated Blogroll Tuesday, Apr 24 2007

I added 3 blogs to our blogroll (man, I’m really getting good at this–notice the humility) that you should all check out.  They are all friends of mine that have proven themselves to be godly women full of wisdom beyond their years.  Much of each blog, like ours, is udates about family and life in general, but they also cover many other topics well-worth reading, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom (and especially if you have boys–they have 7 among the 3 of them).  I check their blogs almost daily now and soak up whatever I can learn from them.

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Saving Dinner Monday, Apr 23 2007

I just came across a new website last week called Saving Dinner.  The author has lots of great menus already made for many different needs available for a very small price.  We purchased one of her freezer meal plans (only $8.95) that gives shopping lists, instructions, suggestions for side items, and everything else you need to make 22 dinners for 4 people.  You can make as many copies for yourself as you need.  The best part is that she is a frugal woman, so Bill and I only spent around $75 for 2 weeks of groceries yesterday.  That $8.95 was well worth it.  Then we had a great time assembling the meals together last night (we only did 10 at a time, though we actually could have fit all 22 of them in our small freezer, even with ice trays and other food items).  It might sound a little unromantic, but I would recommend doing something like this for a date with your spouse.  We talked a lot and enjoyed working together for a couple of hours so we can save many hours this week on meal prep.  That’s more time we can talk the next two weeks.  All I have to do now is thaw the meal the night before and pop it in the oven or crock pot when we’re ready to cook it.  It really was a lot of fun.  We’re having our first meal tonight–crock pot beef and peppers with mashed potatoes, broccoli, and salad.  Yum! 

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Rowr!!! Saturday, Apr 21 2007

Time for the weekly kiddo update:

Ariana is doing well.  She has started gaining a little weight again.  We are still concerned about my milk supply, so please pray for us about that.  We are not anti-formula, just anti-expense.  She has been fussier than usual (which really just means she’s been fussy–she’s usually just quiet), so we thought she might have an ear infection.  Nope, just teething.  So for each meal she usually has a little milk mixed with a finger or two to chew on–hers and ours.  She’s still as precious as ever with an easy, huge smile.  She often gets comments that she’s an exceptionally sweet baby.  We agree.  Actually, we feel that way about both our children. 

Liam decided this week he would make huge breakthroughs with his speech.  The most important, of course, is that he knows “Mommy” very well.  He now calls for me and looks for me calling my name at every turn.  Last night, I had coffee with a friend and was gone for about an hour.  Bill told me Liam said my name constantly while I was gone.  Now that’s perseverance!  He also counts to 3, but only if he’s trying to get Mommy or Daddy to perform “Liam Blast Off.”

One of the sweetest moments we had was last night before bed.  We always go through a routine with him where we tell him how many people love him.  Then we end with, “Most of all, Jesus loves you!” (From Noel Piper’s book of the same title) When we were getting close, Liam sqatted down in anticipation with a huge grin (I wonder who he gets that from…) and said the last part with us while jumping up with joy.  Cutie patootie!

And, finally, Liam’s favorite new thing: animal noises.  He has been doing a dog bark for quite some time (a big dog bark at that–woof, woof in a low voice).  In fact, the other dogs in the apartments and he have become good friends as he will converse with them through the screen door.  I never realized how little I paid attention to dogs barking until Liam decided to bark in response to them each time he heard one (or saw a picture of one).  He also does a cat, lion, and duck. 

A conversation with Liam might go something like this:
“Hey, Liam, what sound does a dog make?”
“Woof, woof!”
“Good!  What sound does a lion make?”
“Rowr!”
“Great!  What sound does a cat make?”
“Rowr!”
“No, Honey, that’s a lion.  What sound does a cat make?”
“Meow! Row–”
[Interrupting]“That’s right.  What sound does a duck make?”
“Rowr!”
“No, that’s a lion again.  What about a duck?” 
“Dack, dack!  Rowr(big smile)!”

Can you tell which animal is his favorite?

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1d Thursday, Apr 19 2007

Click here, here, and here to read the first three sections of this prayer study.  Today concludes this series of posts. 

D.  Forgiving to Be Forgiven
or Forgiving Because We’re Forgiven (v. 14-15)
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This passage finishes with Jesus reiterating a point from His prayer about being forgiven and forgiving others.  On one level, a clear reading of this text says that if we want to be forgiven by God, we must forgive others.  This is most certainly true.  But, as I explained above, I think this finds it’s roots in the fact that someone who doesn’t forgive really isn’t asking for forgiveness.  But, at the same time, I think it ought to be pointed out that we can only forgive because we have been forgiven by God through Christ.  Thus, if we don’t forgive others, we are giving the kind of bad fruit that evidences an unregenerate (that is, unsaved or unchanged) heart.  And the unregenerate person is most certainly not forgiven by God.  I think Jesus says this because He wants to drive home a point.  And that point is that forgiveness flows both in and out.  The same goes for grace, mercy, and compassion.  To be shown mercy but never show mercy, to be shown grace but not to show grace, to be shown compassion but never show compassion are all signs that the reality is not present in you.  In a sense, I think this is one way we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (see Philippians).  To bring it all together, I think that Jesus is emphasizing this to point to the sin in our lives.  And a prayer to God that doesn’t recognize our sinfulness, ask for forgiveness, then ask for empowerment to spread the mercy and grace we’ve been shown to others is really no prayer at all.  And the only way to have forgiveness is through Christ.  Therefore, to offer a prayer that God will hear and honor, we must be clothed with Christ as well as live like Christ. 

E.                 Final Conclusions and Generalizations

1) Christ’s disciples are assumed to be people who pray.  Whatever else we may draw from this passage, Jesus flat-out assumes that prayer is expected of the Christian.
2) As much as prayer is meant to exalt God, it is meant to humble us.
3) The length of a prayer is not nearly as important as the heart of the person praying.  In every word we speak to God, we ought to be humble, honest, and to the point.
4) God is pleased to receive prayers that are offered in this manner.
5) We should never pray in such a way that we seek praise for ourselves either from others or from ourselves.
6) This passage doesn’t say anything about what we should expect from God in prayer.  In fact, it seems to suggest that when we pray, we speak to God, not the other way around.  That may be possible, but this passage doesn’t address it.
7) When we ask for things, we should ask for things that glorify God, that destroy our sinful selves, and that help us to depend on God alone for every single thing.

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1c Wednesday, Apr 18 2007

Click here and here to read the first two parts

C. A Model for Prayer (v. 9-13)
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, let your name be treated with reverence. 10 Let your kingdom come, let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.   [You can tell I selected certain footnoted options for the version of the prayer I’ll comment on] 

Jesus now models prayer for us.  I’ll start with some general statements about the whole prayer before examining its parts.  First, notice how short the prayer is.  I find this to be more evidence for leaning toward shorter prayers.  As we found in Point B, God is not impressed by long, repetitious prayers.  Jesus’ example reflects that.  Of course, longer prayers are fine.  But it seems to prove that there is nothing wrong with short prayers.  Second, Jesus’ prayer is not terribly comprehensive.  I suppose it holds to the ACTS (Adoration, Confession [as if Jesus needed to do that!], Thanksgiving, Supplication] prayer, but not so formally.  I think it’s worth noting that Jesus covers some very basic concepts without getting complicated or technical.  There is no reason to think that we need long sentences or big words to pray appropriately to God.  Simplicity is a good thing.  Third, the prayer doesn’t end with “Amen.”  I just thought I’d point that out. 

Now I’d like to examine the verses one by one:
v. 9 – First, note that Jesus prays to God as Father.  Because of Jesus, we have the same right to come to God as His child.  Essentially, we are talking to our celestial Daddy.  Second, Jesus immediately exalts the father and implicitly humbles Himself.  That should be the same for us.  When we praise God (especially in prayer), we should understand the vast difference between God’s holiness and our lowliness.  As such, we should seek not only to treat God’s Name with reverence, but pray that others will as well.
v. 10 – Jesus here hits two points: God’s heavenly rule and His earthly rule.  This sentence focuses on God’s dual rule over heaven and earth.  By example, Jesus is teaching us to pray that God’s kingdom would come and come soon.  This has implications not only in reference to Jesus’ return (which we should pray to come soon), but also that God’s kingdom would become more present here on Earth.  This means that we are praying for the conversion of souls and the glorification of God’s Name among all peoples.  Jesus also focuses on God’s earthly rule, where we should hope to see God’s will revealed and followed.  This balances the comment about the kingdom coming, because we should wish that God would be obeyed by all people (which is a way of saying we want go to convert/regenerate all people).  In so doing, we not only focus on God’s work on Earth, but also again exalt Him because He is worthy to be obeyed.
v. 11 – More than having to do with food, this asks for daily provision.  Basically, this is a way of asking God to deliver on His promises to care as He does the sparrow or the flower in the field.  And, in so doing, we are implicitly asking God to take away worries and fears, because we are trusting God to give us everything we need (food, clothing, shelter, companionship, etc.) so that we have no reason for pride.  In praying this, we are minimizing our work that we do to “earn” income by acknowledging that those things come from God Himself.
v. 12 – This particular sentence is both easy and hard to say.  It’s easy because we are asking forgiveness.  Of course, if we really seek to see all of our sins, this can actually be quite hard.  But I think it’s much easier to ask forgiveness from God than to forgive others.  And because Jesus links them together, it seems to imply that we have no right to ask forgiveness from God if we haven’t forgiven others.  And it seems that the reasoning for that is if we haven’t forgiven others, then we haven’t really repented of our sin (which I would link with forgiveness) of anger/bitterness/envy/whatever which nullifies our request.  In essence, we’re not really seeking forgiveness because we haven’t let go of the sin of unforgiveness (more on this below).  But if we truly lay all of our sin before God, then we are again humbling ourselves before Him and acknowledging that we have no way to get rid of sin without God’s active work in our lives.
v. 13 – Finally, Jesus finishes the prayer by again addressing sin.  He asks that God would first lead us.  This is important.  Implied in the request is that God will lead us somewhere.  And since He’s leading us, we want Him to lead us into paths of righteousness.  Again, this should humble us because we don’t want to be led into temptation.  Why?  Because when faced with temptation, we usually take the plunge into the sin itself.  Asking God to deliver us from the evil one acknowledges that temptations and sinfulness are fueled by Satan, our adversary.  As such, if we want to escape sin (and we should), we can’t do it on our own.  We need God to “deliver us” from both the sin and the one who want us to sin. 

To summarize, I’ll tentatively draw ­­­five main ideas/principles from this model prayer.  1) In prayer we should actively seek to exalt God and humble ourselves before Him.  2) In prayer we should pray for God to work actively to make and shape disciples for His glory.  3) We should trust in God alone, acknowledging that everything we have comes from Him and, therefore, we have no reason to worry.  4) We should ask God for forgiveness by asking Him to cleanse our sinfulness and empower us to obey Him.  Implicitly, we should recognize that any good thing that we do, including repentance and deliverance from sin comes from God’s good hand.  5) All things we ask for in prayer should seek God’s glory and honor, not our petty desires.

Click here to read the concluding section.

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Liam vs. Nature Tuesday, Apr 17 2007

I had a sobering reminder today that I have a son.

 We usually try to go outside on nice mornings and today was one of those.   At a nearby park, I noticed that the dandelions were in full bloom, so I thought it would be fun to teach Liam how to blow them.  He was very intrigued by the whole process and made a real attempt at it.  But after turning my back, I heard giggling: Liam had figured out that stomping the dandelions had much the same effect.

Later, I saw a caterpillar and pointed it out to Liam.  Naturally, he was intrigued, and again, yep, you guessed it, he squashed the critter under his kid-size 7 sandal.  Oh, well, maybe there’s hope for Ariana…

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1b Tuesday, Apr 17 2007

Click here to read the first part of this study 

B. Get to the Point
or Praying to an All-Knowing God (v. 7-8)
7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.  

Jesus gives us a second comparison between a bad example and a good example.  This time our bad example is not the “hypocrite,” but “the Gentiles.”   Jesus condemns the Gentiles for their repetition of “empty phrases” in prayer, specifically citing that they think repetition itself will get God to listen.  Interestingly, the charge against them is not so much the action, but the heart behind it, for they think repeating themselves will force or coerce God to listen to them.  I’m not exactly sure what is meant by “empty phrases,” but my guess would have something to do with thinking that specific repeated (or even varied) phrases will somehow bring one closer to God (or God closer to oneself).  I think this can be done in a number of ways, but constantly reciting Ave Marias or the Lord’s Prayer or the same type/pattern of prayers all the time thoughtlessly would be a few examples.  Even the way many (including me) will use “spiritual” sounding phrases that we’ve heard others use to sound “holier” would be included in Jesus’ criticism. 

The positive example Jesus sets for us is to trust in God’s sovereignty and infinite knowledge.  Because God knows all things, He knows what we want before we even start praying, really before the desire even enters us.  I think the link between v. 7 and v. 8 is a little hard to decipher, but it appears to say two things.  First, we should get to the point.  There is no reason to feel that God will hear us more because we repeat ourselves than if we say it once.  The only reason God listens to us is because He chose to draw us near to Himself through His Son.  There is no other way to be heard by God than to have Christ’s righteousness covering us and Jesus interceding for us (which I intend to deal with in a far distant study lesson).  That is to say, prayers must be offered by faith.  To give an example, imagine the child in the store that says, “Daddy, may I please have the candy?  Please, please?  I really want it.  Will you get me the candy?  Please, Daddy, please?  Pretty please?”  What is the child doing?  Aside from begging, the child thinks her father won’t give her the candy unless she pesters him into doing it.  While the analogy only goes so far, what it shows is the lack of faith the child has in her father.  If she believed her father loved her and cared for her, she would be content with simply asking and then accepting his answer.  For us, we pray, understanding that God knows our hearts, knows our desires, loves us immeasurably, and will ultimately do what is best for us. 

Second, everything we say should have a purposeful meaning.  Using “stock phrases” (you know, the phrases you never say any other time except when you pray) or tossing the standard “in Jesus’ name, Amen” (which most people don’t know why they do) onto the end of a prayer out of ritualistic obligation or following a form for the sake of following a form could all be examples of “empty phrases.”  Again, in the example above, the child said a bunch of really stupid, repetitive (or even empty) stuff to convince her father to listen.  Did that make her plea more convincing?  I doubt it.  A simple, heartfelt request, “Daddy, may I please have the candy?  I would really like some” would have easily sufficed.  The father would (presumably) know his daughter’s heart and desires already and would respond accordingly for her welfare and joy.  And obviously our heavenly Father does know us, far better than we know ourselves.  Therefore, everything we say in prayer should be true, from the heart, and intentional. 

I don’t have much more to say in conclusion.  I think a good principle is to start short (more on this below).  Long prayers don’t make us any more holy than short prayers.  We’re only holy through Christ’s death.  When we pray, we should go for short, precise, to-the-point prayers that reflect our heart.  I would certainly endorse trying to be comprehensive in praying (which using a form like ACTS [Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication] helps us avoid), but genuine, “partial” prayers would be better than wooden, “comprehensive” prayers.  The point is not length or lyricality, but legitimacy.

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A Simple Study of Prayer #1a Monday, Apr 16 2007

NOTE: This is a very simple prayer study I’m writing for Court and me to use together. It’s not very polished nor is it deep, but hopefully some of you might find it helpful.

“The Lord’s Prayer” (From Matthew 6 ESV)

5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. [or “Let your name be kept holy” or “Let your name be treated with reverence”] 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, [or “Let your kingdom come, let your will be done”] on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, [or “our bread for tomorrow”] 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [or “from the evil one”; some mss. add “For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen.”]

14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

A. Prayer Is Not for Show
or Prayer as Private Communion with God (v. 5-6)
5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

In these two verses, Jesus sets up the first comparison between a bad example and a good example. He condemns the “hypocrite” who prays in public for the praise of men. He is called a hypocrite not because he prays in public, but because he prays for the express purpose of being seen by others. The hypocrite doesn’t pray to God. He essentially prays to men. At best, what he is doing is lying to himself and to others. At worst, he is using God for his own glory, setting himself up as an idol worthy of praise. The hypocrite is condemned because his prayer “to God” is aimed at other people, not God.

Jesus sets up for us the opposite of this hypocrite. This person doesn’t pray in public (to be heard by others). The righteous man not only goes indoors, he goes into a particular room and shuts the door. In this room, there is no one to see him or hear him. I don’t think Jesus’ point is that we should only pray when others can’t see us or hear us, thereby excluding any type of public prayer (I’m thinking of examples in Acts where the church prayed together, implying a type of public prayer). But I do think he is pointing to the fact that a mixed motive in prayer negates entirely what the prayer should be. Essentially, when we pray for any other reason than to pray directly to God alone, we are not actually praying anymore. Therefore, Jesus is not addressing the circumstance of prayer (out in public or in a closed room), but instead is addressing the heart of the disciple. Our hearts are called to pray to God alone, not to worry about or focus on what other people will think or hear.

I see many pitfalls to avoid if we follow this principle. First, praying privately is probably the best option (or at least, the best starting place) for the Christian because we are so tempted to seek glory. If we pray in private, we can be sure that at least we’re not doing it for the benefit of others. Second, if/when we pray publicly, we shouldn’t really care what the hearers are thinking about our prayer. Any thought like this is a form of idolatry and should be cast out. Third, if/when we pray publicly, we only pray aloud so that others may join into our prayer. Therefore, an “out-loud” prayer is not to get people to think better of oneself. Instead, we pray aloud to invite fellowship in raising prayers to God collectively instead of privately. But public prayer is really outside the scope of the passage. Fourth, even when we pray privately, we can do one of two things. We can either let people know that we are praying (or that we pray often) so that they’ll think better of us, or we can so evaluate the “greatness” of our praying that we praise ourselves instead of focusing on God. While both are far subtler than the “hypocrite’s” method, the same sin of idolatry and self-worship is still present.

Therefore, we pray to God and to God alone. We pray with no thought of other people’s opinions or even our opinions of the greatness of our prayer or our own righteousness. To put it positively, this is a great time to “lose oneself” by focusing directly on God and His singular worthiness to be the recipient of prayer (no one else has that right or honor).

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Where’s Bill? Sunday, Apr 15 2007

Hey, Bill,
Tag! You’re it!

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